I am about to break every rule that I have previously established for myself concerning blog post but I don't care!! I have made a discovery in the last 24 hours that has made me refocus. What might you ask did I realize? I realized that life is hard. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Every day is filled with a hectic lifestyle that only gets complicated by challenges along the way. I know people are probably thinking...duh, it took you 19 years and 51 weeks to figure that out (I will be 20 in a week from today). And I realized before now that life was not in the least bit simple but now I understand that the problems we face as individual adults are far different than the problems we faced as children or even teenagers. My biggest concern in elementary school was who I was going to play with at recess, biggest concern in middle school was if my wardrobe was "cool" enough, biggest concern in high school was academics and achieving my goals. And all in one fail swoop those aspects of my life converge in adulthood. I am now responsible for my actions and I have to make sure that I am living the life I want to live.
I could not live without my parents. They somewhat shielded from this "hard life" in my younger days (whose parents didn't!?) but now that I have figured it out, they are willing to support, encourage and do anything necessary to make sure that I am still living a great life. I just can't believe that I am making all of my own decisions and that each of those decisions has an impact on my life.
This realization came about because I was walking out of a meeting last night feeling completely overwhelmed. I then tried to study and realized that the student center was like Grand Central Station and I was going to get nothing done fast because I tend to be a people watcher. As I was walking to my car, all I could think about was my test on Wednesday, test on Thursday, my mile long to do list and the feeling that everything was going to to come crumbling down around me. I can't say that I have actually had a panic attack before but I am pretty sure last night was close. I think most people have these little freak outs and they wonder why other people are so content with their lives. I have come to realize that everyone feels overwhelmed at some point...it's hard not to in college. But last night was a change in my attitude. All I can do is focus on the individual aspects of my life. I have to make sure that my studies come first and then whatever time I have left is devoted to the activities that make me feel good. I think I should go back and read my own blog post because I give advice to myself, but tend to forget about my own advice when the going gets tough.
Here is my advice for everyone today: know that life is hard, it's going to have its ups and downs but all of us have the ability to succeed and make ourselves happy.