Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Dangling with Questions

There are so many questions that you can ask the world or yourself. You can be inquistive or thoughtful, funny or serious, and a whole host of other adjectives. Questions are what lead us to some of the best conversations with others as well as to the best reflections of ourselves. If you follow the blog regularly then you know that I reflect on my own actions with tremendous detail and sometimes to the extent that I just want to turn my brain off.

It's funny how my brain works because it goes through stages of thinking about different situations. I will consider how I feel about the situation for a few days and then move on to trying to understand the situation. I probably should just let everything slide off my back but I realize that I learn the most life lessons by digging deeper into certain situations.

So as the cycle would predict, I am currently dissecting January. I have thought that maybe January just needs to be a black hole on the calendar of this year, maybe January was a huge mistake. But I also realize that I have changed over the past 30 days and I would not have made that progress without the events of January.

Over the past year I have tried to take notice when I feel like I am going to regret something. I know we don't have time for everything in our lives but if we realize when we are giving something up, maybe we can turn it around and make a difference, lessening our regret about past situations.

Regret is the major question of January- how will this month effect me going forward? Did I really give up on something that could of been awesome, for something that will probably only be a bullet point on my list of college memories? Am I the only one that feels this way or are their two sides to every story? These questions can really only be answered by me and it kills me that the questions I keep asking myself all lead me to believe that January was a mistake.

All I can focus on now is that every situation in life leads to a lesson and I have definitely learned from January. For the first time in my life, I realize that the grass is definitely not greener on the other side of the pasture. Like my roommate said last night, you had to go over there to see but from this point forward I will choose to stick with what I have instead of putting myself in a position of uncertainty. It taught me to have more faith in people and that relationships are based on trust and honesty, so if you are not willing to give them then don't expect for the relationship to move forward. January definitely helped my trust in God and my patience for his plan, but I still have to work on the questioning of my actions that will lead me to his plan.

I am glad that I can apply this year's mottos to the situation and learn from my actions. As of right now, January is over but it is still in the works of being resolved in my head. It will effect me in the coming months but I can't begin to predict how it will manifest itself. All I can do is live in the moment and live for my own happiness because my life is headed in a great direction right now, so I don't have anything to worry about except maybe the questions. :)

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